Two Out of Three Aint Bad.
by KittyMeowMaxwell
Summary: Duo only wants to hear three simple words from Heero, but something's keeping the Perfect Soldier from saying them. Song fic. Only my second, so tell me what you think, especially if you think something should be changed, ~Yaoi~


Warnings: Yaoi, lemon type stuff, lime, angst, sad stuff and bad language.

Disclaimer: I, KittyMeowMaxwell, do hereby admit that I do not own the Gundam Wing characters. If I did, it would so happen that Relena would not exist, Duo and Heero would kiss each other at least once per episode and Zechs would admit his undying love for Treize whilst Noin was tied up in a closet somewhere. I do also swear that I make no money off this fic and write it only for my enjoyment and to wish that I DID own the g-boys. ~_^ Oh, yeah. ^_^' Almost forgot. I also don't own the lyrics to "Two Out of Three Aint Bad".

Author's note: My mother is a Meatloaf freak and I don't particularly mind their music either. It came to me, during one of our many car trips in which Meatloaf's "Bat Out of Hell" album was playing, that I could write a fic to the song "Two Out of Three Aint Bad". So, when I got home, I did write it! ^_^ And here it is! I did change a tiny few words of the lyrics to fit the fic.

FF.Net is STILL not letting my formatting through… All the emphasized words are in capitals LIKE SO, thoughts are inside // thingies and song lyrics are inside ~ thingies. Oh, and I think there's one I inside * thingies, because it's pretty hard to put emphasis on one of those by making it capital when it already is… Apologies, but I'm still waiting on support services' reply…

~ ~ ~

Two Out of Three Aint Bad.

~

Baby, we can talk all night.

But that aint getting us nowhere.

I've told you everything I possibly can.

There's nothing left inside of me.

~

Duo arched up off the bed and cried out Heero's name as he gave his everything to the Japanese man. Heero followed not far behind as Duo's inner muscles tightened around him. He threw his head back and gave a satisfied moan before leaning down to brush a gentle kiss across his lover's lips.

"Don't you fall asleep, Duo. We need to clean up," Heero muttered as he carefully withdrew from his lover.

"Oh, Heero, you're SO romantic!" Duo sarcastically, batting his eyelashes.

Heero just grunted and climbed out of the bed, padding into the ensuite and shutting the door behind him. Not a moment later, Duo heard the shower.

"Sure," he muttered. "Make ME walk down to the main bathroom…"

As he slid out of their bed he pondered. He and Heero had parted after the war, leaving Duo with unrequited passion. Contrary to what Quatre, Trowa and Wufei believed, Heero and Duo had never been lovers during the war, though not through Duo's lack of trying. Every chance he got he'd tried to get the Perfect Soldier into bed, but failed time and time again. Then, about six months ago, Heero had turned up on Duo's doorstep and just about pounced on him. It was Duo who'd stopped anything from happening until Heero had sat down and explained himself.

Not that it'd been all that much of an explanation, Duo reflected as he hopped under the warm water and began to clean away the evidence of their lovemaking (//SEX!!// his traitorous mind whispered. //Not lovemaking…//). In the six months they'd now been together, Duo had fallen back in love with Heero, but the Japanese man had never said he loved Duo. He was tender and careful during the time they spent in bed, but once they were done and the two of them had washed, he would sleep with his back to Duo and never say a thing.

Duo sighed and ran his hands through his think hair, which, as he still never cut it short, reached to his knees now. Letting the hot water splash down on his face, he closed his eyes and wished. They were both in their 20's now, but neither of them had changed all that much.

Shutting the water off, Duo stepped out of the shower and dried, then returned to the bed, his sopping wet hair bound up in its usual braid. Heero came out in a moment and slid into bed, ignoring Duo almost as though he weren't even there.

"Heero…" Duo said, touching his lover's shoulder gently.

"Hn," Heero replied.

"Will you at least look at me?"

Heero turned over reluctantly to look at Duo, his Prussian eyes shuttered.

"Duo… It doesn't matter how much we talk…" Heero said in a voice devoid of emotion, knowing what Duo had been about to say.

"What…?" Duo asked.

"I've told you everything I can. I've already said before what I feel and what I don't feel," Heero replied softly, trying unsuccessfully to push his tousled, damp bangs out of his eyes.

"I love you, Heero. Doesn't that matter to you?" Duo cried, tears beginning to form in his eyes.

"There's just nothing left inside me, Duo. There IS nothing else I can tell you."

~

And baby you can cry all night,

But that'll never change the way that I feel.

The snow is really pilin' up outside.

I wish you wouldn't make me leave here.

~

Duo finally let the tears spill over as he twisted his braid around his hand. He didn't care that he was over 20 now and should behave like a man. He didn't care what Heero thought of his show of weakness. He could see Heero hesitate, then reach out and gently caress Duo's cheek.

"Duo… Duo, don't cry," he whispered, letting his hand move up to stroke Duo's hair. "It won't change anything, least of all how I feel."

"I can't STOP crying, Heero! God! I love you, but… but you don't love me. I think… Heero… I'm going to have to make you leave. I can't take it anymore, giving myself to you over and over and loving you with everything I have, but not getting the same in return. Every time I tell you I love you, you change the subject or just grunt at me, and every time another piece of my heart is broken. Just… go. I can't handle it anymore," Duo finished in a whisper.

Heero glanced at the window. Snow had been falling past it for hours now and he didn't fancy going out in it. Besides that, he didn't want to leave or lose Duo.

"Duo, don't make me leave, please. I… I don't want to leave," he said, cupping Duo's cheek in one big hand.

Duo dashed it away and scrambled out of the bed, pointing to the door.

"This is my place and I want you to piss off, Yuy!" he snarled.

"Don't do this, Duo. I don't want to leave you. I don't."

"Then tell me you love me, prick," Duo snapped, part of him wanting to hurt Heero as badly as he himself was hurting. He still held a shaking finger pointing at the door, even as he actually saw the Perfect Soldier's perfect eyes beginning to brim with tears.

"I can't…" Heero said, his eyes pleading with Duo. His voice was husky, on the way to being hoarse, but Duo didn't care. All the rejections were finally catching up with him and he couldn't keep his emotions in check anymore. Anger seemed to have risen to the fore and he really formed his words now with the specific intent to sting.

"Lord! Can it be? Do I see THE Perfect Soldier ACTUALLY struggling with something? I never thought it possible!"

"Please… Onegai… Don't make me leave."

~

I've poured it on and I've poured it out,

I tried to show you just how much I care.

I'm tired of words and I'm too hoarse to shout,

But you've been cold to me so long,

I'm cryin' icicles instead of tears.

~

"NOW he's begging ME! The L2 street-rat. What has Heero fuckin' Yuy fallen to?"

Heero looked away, hiding his tears. His throat was starting to hurt and he was afraid he'd lose his voice, but he didn't care. All he cared about was not losing Duo.

"Duo, you don't mean this. You're hurt. You're angry. I…" Oh, but this sort of thing was SO hard for Heero. "I can… understand why you're… why you're feeling that way, but you don't-"

"I fuckin' well DO want to kick your ass out of my place! You don't love and you don't think I'm WORTH loving!" Duo snarled.

"No! It's not like that. I just…"

~

And all I can do, is keep on tellin' you:

I want you,

I need you,

But there aint no way I'm ever gonna love you.

Now don't be sad.

'Cause two outta three aint bad.

~

"You just fuckin' WHAT? I know you, Yuy. You don't "just" anything! Everything's black or what, up or down, yes or fuckin' no!" Duo was shaking all over now with a combination of cold, anger and sadness, but he ignored it and just glared at Heero.

"Duo… this is hard for me… You know it is. I'm… I'm not good with words or emotions," Heero said softly, unable to give his failing voice any more volume.

"Then just be blunt. I'm a big boy now, Heero," Duo sneered, folding his arms across his chest.

"At least… come back and get in bed. You… you'll freeze to death."

Duo considered a moment, then realised Heero was right. Even now, though the war was through, his soldier's instincts demanded he not put himself in a situation where he could cause himself harm that could be avoided. He gave a curt nod and went back to the bed.

Heero reached out for him, but he shook his head and waved the Japanese boy's hands away, still glaring at him through almost-dry chestnut bangs. He pushed those bangs irritably out of his eyes, only to have them fall back again.

"Get on with it, Yuy. I haven't got all night," Duo snapped, his eyes veiled to hide the sadness he truly felt.

"Duo, I… I want… more than anything I have in this world, I want you, and… I need you… I need you like I need you breathe… But… I… There's no way I can ever love you."

Duo stared at him, uncomprehending. Not only was that one of the most beautiful things he'd ever, EVER heard Heero say, but it was one of the most confusing things he'd ever, EVER heard Heero say. He wanted and needed Duo, but there was no way he could ever love him? Why not? What was it Heero wasn't telling him? It took a moment for Duo to register that Heero was speaking again.

"But… but, Duo… You don't have to be sad… and… you really don't have to kick me out. That's two out of three… It's pretty good… Better than nothing…" Heero's eyes went strangely misty then, until Duo slapped him.

"How can you SAY that? Love is more important than both of those other things put together! How can you say "two outta three aint bad" like we're talking about runners on a baseball field?" he cried, still angry, but beginning to lose the battle with sadness.

~

You'll never find your gold on a sandy beach.

You'll never drill for oil on a city street.

I know you're lookin' for a ruby in a mountain of rocks,

But there aint no coupe` de ville

Lyin' at the bottom of the Cracker Jack box.

~

"Duo, you're looking for something that just isn't… CAN'T ever be there. It's like looking for gold on the beach. It just can't be there at all," Heero said, looking into Duo's eyes.

"But you HAVE to love me… just a tiny, tiny little bit. Why can't it be there? WHY is it so impossible? WHY? What aren't you telling me?" Duo's voice was plaintive, all anger forgotten, but he knew if Heero didn't say those three magic words soon, he WOULD turf the Japanese man out on his ass in the snow, not caring he lived or died.

"Duo… Just take what I've said and work out what you want. I've told you, you can't find something that isn't there. It's worse than looking for an ant in the workings of a gundam, because the ant is actually there. This isn't.

"Why isn't it, Heero? Why can't you love me like I love you?"

~

I can't lie, I can't tell you that I'm somethin' I'm not.

No matter how I try, I'll never be able

To give you somethin'… somethin' that I just haven't got!"

~

Heero shook his head and looked away, saying nothing. There was nothing he COULD say, really. He'd said everything he had to say and he'd told DUO he'd said everything he had to say. He concentrated hard on the weave of the sheets while he waited for Duo to say something more.

"Heero…" was all Duo said, and he was silent for so long that Heero just HAD to prompt him with a questioning "hn?" Duo took a shuddering breath and spoke. "Can't… can't you just SAY it… Even if it's not true, can't you just SAY you want me, need me AND love me? Just say it?"

"No," Heero said flatly, and Duo winced at the vehemence in the reply, closing his eyes and turning his face away from Heero.

"If you want me and need me so badly, there shouldn't be a problem with pretending to love me as well," Dup whispered, hating the fact that he'd been reduced to such begging and plaintive whimpering. Like a puppy begging for a scrap of meat. He was disgusted at himself, but at the same time, he wanted Heero to say "I love you" even if it WAS a lie.

"I DO want you and I DO need you, but I won't lie to you and say I love you. It wouldn't be fair, ESPECIALLY to you," Heero replied, wishing Duo would open his eyes and look at him.

"You can't tell me what is and isn't fair to me! I don't care if it's a lie, I just want to hear you say it and pretend it's true! That's all I want. Please, Heero…"

"I won't lie to you. I can't." Heero watched Duo's face, trying to gage his reaction.

Duo forced haunted eyes open and caught and held Heero's eyes. They looked at each other for the longest time, until Duo spoke.

"Then why can't you love me for real? What have I done? What's wrong with me that you can't love me?"

"It's nothing about you. Nothing's "wrong" with you and you haven't done anything. I… it's something I just haven't got anymore, Duo…"

~

Well there is only one man that I will ever love,

And that was so many years ago.

I know, I know I'll never get him out of my heart.

He never loved me back, oo, I know.

~

"What d'you mean you haven't got it anymore?" Duo sobbed, distraught.

"Exactly that. I haven't got it anymore. I gave my love away a long time ago, during the war. To a man who never gave his to me in return…"

"That long ago? And he never loved you? Then why can't you get over him and love me?"

At least he knew now why all his attempts at seduction had failed; there'd been another man. Duo wondered who.

Wufei? Surely not. Heero and Wufei were both too stubborn to be able to survive a very long relationship together. The Chinese boy had looked down his nose at Duo every time he'd made a subtle move on Wufei and had usually called him a pervert, so it was also a pretty sure bet that he wasn't gay or even bi.

Trowa? Again, surely not. Trowa was too secretive. Too… unpredictable. Heero didn't like unknowns, and Trowa was one. Duo didn't think Heero could stand that in a relationship. He needed everything in an orderly fashion, or at least with no hidden variables. Trowa was FULL of hidden variables.

Duo had barely even begun to consider Quatre when he threw the notion out the window again. Heero, while he could be tender and caring, was about as subtle as a brick when it came to relationships or emotion. Quatre, emotional person that he was, wouldn't be able to bear a relationship with Heero. If Quatre felt insecure or sad or frightened or anything like that, Heero would likely tell him off for letting emotion get in the way and ignore, or just not notice that Quatre needed him. No, it wasn't him.

So, then, who? If-

Heero's words suddenly cut into his thoughts.

"It isn't something one can "get over" so easily… I gave him my heart and he… still carries it with him."

~

Well I remember how he left me on a stormy night.

Oh, he kissed me and got out of our bed,

And though I pleaded and I begged him not to walk out that door,

He packed his bags and turned right away…

~

Heero's eyes slipped away from Duo's and went shuttered as he fell helplessly into memory.

* * *

Lightening flashed outside the window and rain lashed the roof, but neither Heero not the man who lay curled up around him noticed. The former smiled and made a light noise as the latter nuzzled his ear, then let his tongue flick out to tickle just below the ear.

They were both perfectly sated and neither had the energy to do much again, but Heero's lover liked the Japanese pilot's taste. He smirked and nipped at Heero's earlobe, his fingers dancing, feather-light, up and down Heero's front.

"Mmm… Aishiteru…" Heero murmured.

"Pardon? You know I don't speak Japanese," his lover said in his dusky voice, light laughter lacing the words.

Heero turned over to face his lover, tracing patterns on his perfect chest with one finger. He could forget Perfect Soldier at these times and just be submissive lover. He liked it. Liked being taken care of. Liked having a strong, but gentle man between his legs and driving deep inside of him. He smiled up into his lover's eyes and translated his own words into English.

"I love you, Milliardo," he said softly, then leaned up for a kiss, but the platinum blond turned his head and didn't give his lips over to Heero's exploration.

"Heero…" he said instead and broke eye contact with the pilot. He murmured something to himself, then shook his head and looked at Heero again. He said nothing, only kissed Heero with infinite gentleness, then let him go and slipped out from under the covers, his tall, perfect body shivering a little in the cold.

"Milliardo…?" Heero asked in confusion, propping himself up on one elbow to look at him.

"I have to go now…" Milliardo replied as he began dressing.

"What? But… why? You said we would have two nights and two days. We haven't even had one night!" Heero cried, sitting all the way up. He watched Milliardo, getting more and more nervous as it became apparent he was packing his few things.

Milliardo said nothing.

"Milliardo? Where are you going?" Heero asked in a plaintive voice, not caring about his apparent weakness.

"I don't know," Milliardo murmured finally as he zipped up his bag and put it on the edge of the bed, then sat down beside it to pull on socks and boots.

"What do you mean you don't know? Why are you going?" Heero reached over and put a hand on Milliardo's shoulder.

"I have to…" Milliardo said softly.

"No… You're… You're leaving me altogether, aren't you? Don't! Please! I can't… I won't be able to live without you! I love you! Onegai! Onegai, don't go!" Heero begged, dropping Perfect Soldier and giving into Scared Teenager.

"I have to, Heero. I have to," Milliardo replied, touching Heero's cheek gently before standing and turning away from him.

~

And he kept on tellin' me,

He kept on tellin' me,

He KEPT ON tellin' me,

"I want you,

I need you,

But there aint no way I'm ever gonna love you.

Now don't be sad,

'Cause two outta three aint bad."

~

"Why do you have to?" Heero whispered, voice choked with tears.

Milliardo hesitated and turned back to Heero, looking at him for the longest time before he finally strode back to the bed and carefully sat down upon it. He reached out and gently stroked Heero's cheek with the tips of his long fingers.

"Because I want you…" he whispered huskily and kissed Heero's forehead. "And I need you." He brushed Heero's bangs out of the Japanese boy's tearful eyes.

"Then why-" Heero started, but Milliardo cut him off with a finger across his lips.

"But… There's no way… I can ever love you," Milliardo finished, then dropped his hand from Heero's face and stood up.

"Milliardo… Milliardo, I don't CARE if you don't love me! I can deal with just being wanted and needed! Please, just don't go!" Heero cried, reaching out for his lover.

"No, Heero, *I* can't handle it anymore. I wish I could love you, I truly do, but I can't and it's tearing me apart. I have to go, Heero. Now, before we get any deeper."

"But I don't want you to go!"

"Goodbye, Heero. Don't be overly sad… You had two out of three…" Milliardo said as he gathered up his bag and walked out into the storm, ignoring his hair though it whipped violently around him. He shut the door behind him with a soft click that screamed of finality.

Heero could only stare at the closed door.

~

I want you,

I need you,

But there aint no way I'm ever gonna love you.

Now don't be sad.

'Cause two outta three aint bad.

~

* * *

"HEERO!" Duo cried, shaking the Japanese man's shoulders.

Heero blinked rapidly and focussed on Duo, his hands coming up to lock around the braided man's upper-arms. Duo yelped in surprise, but Heero silenced him with a passionate kiss.

"Don't make me go, Duo. Please," Heero pleaded softly when they broke apart, panting a little.

"Do you love me?" Duo asked flatly.

"No… but-"

"But you want me and you need me," Duo said bitterly and pulled away from Heero, shaking his head.

"Duo…"

"Just go. I don't want to see you again," Duo whispered, his lashes wet with tears as he closed his eyes. He tugged nervously on his braid when Heero didn't move.

"Onegai, Duo-kun…" Heero whispered in a pleading voice, aware Duo had learned enough Japanese from him to understand what he'd said.

"Iie…" Duo replied, his accent shocking, but not so bad that Heero couldn't understand. "Go. Now. I can't handle you not loving me."

Heero looked at him a moment longer before slipping out of the bed and getting his things together.

"Duo… reconsider?" Heero asked, his hand on the door.

Duo only shook his head, tears spilling from under thick lashes.

"I'm sorry, Baby…" Heero whispered as he stepped out the door. Thankful for the snow that fell on his face, melted and slid down to disguise the tears.

"So am I…" Duo said almost inaudibly, before burying his face in his pillow and sobbing.

Neither of them spoke to one another ever again.

                                                                                    ~

                                                                                    Baby we can talk all night…

                                                                                    But that aint getting us nowhere.

                                                                                    ~

* * *

Author's note: *sniff* So sad… (Thanks to those who told me about all the typos. The one time I forget to proof-read, and the fic's LITTERED with typos. Note to self: Don't EVER upload without proof-reading again.)


End file.
